Three Days of Twenty Seven

People often wonder why I’m in my late twenties and still fall over myself with excitement about my birthday.

To me, BIRTHDAY is a holiday. (Yes, even yours!) I look more forward to my birthday than I do New Year’s Day. Why? Because every day is a new day, every week a new week, and when I get to be one year older it means that I have survived one more year of life. My life has been a bumpy road with potholes, but it’s also been full of sweet gifts, beautiful sunsets and I’ve met some pretty amazing people along the way. I’ve learned so many lessons, sometimes more than once, and I feel like every time I make it through one more year that I have somehow won a race. I am crossing another finish line. BIRTHDAY is a day I get to celebrate running across that line, hands in the air, grateful for another year to start anew and run another.

When I turned twenty five I was absolutely terrified. It rocked me to my core. I reflected on where I had been, where I was going and why I wasn’t in the place I thought I would be by the time I was twenty five. The answer didn’t come until about four months later when I was driving down to Hilton Head, South Carolina fulfilling a life long dream… There’s something about driving through the mountains in the freshness of a new day, surrounded by fog and new sunlight that really gets my brain going. I realized then that my life is not about the things I accomplish by a certain age, it’s about the lessons I learn along the way and what I do with them. It’s about knowing who I am and who I want to be and being confident that the things I want in life will come when they’re ready, when I’m ready.

I truly believe that God gives us what we can handle, when we can handle it. Could I have handled meeting the man of my dreams at the same time that I was fulfilling another dream? I don’t think so. I would have missed out on so many experiences and I wouldn’t have found a piece of myself that I needed to find, a piece of myself that the man of my dreams would need in order for me to be *his* dream too. The past two years have taught me so much about being confident, about not backing down when my beliefs were questioned. I’ve learned to be honest with myself and others. I’ve learned that everything happens for a reason, even when none of it makes sense. I’ve learned to trust God and to listen when he’s pushing me out of my comfort zone.

Guess who’s out of her comfort zone right now?

I’m learning to be humble, which has never ever been easy for me. I used to hate asking for help. I used to hate sharing my feelings with people face to face. I was more of a lock myself away and deal with it on my own kind of person. Now, I’m trying. It doesn’t always come out the right way because somewhere along the line I lost my filter and now it just sort of comes out however it comes out. I’m much better at writing things down than I am at saying it out loud. I have found some really true friends who will open their ears and let me vent, who will just sit and listen. I have learned to not try to do everything on my own, that most things in life require some degree of help from others. (<— a very hard lesson for someone who *hated* asking for help!!)

I would be lying if I didn’t say that I was stressed out right now. I am. I’ve had a lot of new things come into my life in the past 4 months. None of them have been bad though and I have to remind myself to trust that God put these great things in my path for a reason. There are lessons to learn here. Like time management. And perseverance. PATIENCE!!! Faith. I’m learning what it’s like to love someone worthy of my heart. To be happy in the moment with someone rather than worrying about how they’re going to hurt me. To not self destruct, as my wise friend Salt says. I know that this year is going to be an awesome year for me. Twenty eight is my year. I can feel it. Am I scared? Yep… shitless. But deep down I know that everything is going to be okay, better than okay even.

This BIRTHDAY is sweeter than most of the rest. I’m about to embark on a journey that will take me where I have always wanted to go. I have the love of my life by my side. My sister and I have come a long way and are more than just sisters now, we’re best friends. I have some fantastic friends that complete me. I have answers about my health finally and now that I know, I can do something about it, however hard it is right now. It’s going to be a good fantastic year.

Three more days of twenty seven, and then I get to be twenty eight. I can’t wait.

To new beginnings...

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