What’s a Kallay?

Well… I am! Pronounced KA-lee or kuh-LAY, depending on which country you live in or how exotic you want to sound. I love both. I have no less than 463 nicknames and answer to all. Most commonly Kal, in the event that you are at a loss.

Kallaydoscope is my view of my world. It’s colorful and intriguing and also, kind of a mess, if not always highly entertaining.

I’m a mommy of twins, wife, writer and insomniac by night, many thanks to my friend, motherhood (and coffee). A city girl living in the country world, for now, but I often travel to Chicago for my article research. A fantastic city if I’ve ever seen one! (And I have seen one… or twenty.) I’ve moved excessively here, there and everyfuckingwhere. I’ve traveled/lived all over the country but have yet to conquer the rest of the world, rest assured Hungary and Italy top that list. I met and married the man of my dreams, Ryan, last year. You’ll probably hear about him from time to time. He’s funnier than me. It’s not fair. He also has a severe addiction to Mount Olive whole dill pickles and ice cream. Not together. He’s not a pregnant woman, after all. But sometimes, I wonder. I mean really honey, a soup bowl full of ice cream?

I have one obnoxious, wonderful love of a cat, Madeline. You’ll find I often complain about her lack of respect for my sleep and my sanity. My cellphone is not her brand of alarm clock which she hurtles off my nightstand on a daily basis to voice her contempt. I secretly want to high five her, but unfortunately while digging under the far reaches of my bed, this thought does not occur to me as I am cursing her very name.

I also have a precious golden retriever that I rescued from a wretched family back in my days of living in the Pacific Northwest. They named him Hercules. I kept it. And will forever hear the Disney rendition of “Hercules, Hercules!” when strangers meet us in the dog park. Thankfully Hercules isn’t a big fan of exercise or anything of the sort, so dog parks are the last places you will spot us. Although, we do love to throw a football around and watch the Wisconsin Badgers. He’s a HUGE Badger fan!

I’m also a daughter to a great mom who often finds herself the subject of my blogs. She’s straight comedy and I can’t help but to poke fun at her. She’s a good sport and by the way, no worries, I often razz her about the loud chewing and her awesome ability to play the blonde card. Even when it’s an accident. So, none of this is new to her.

I’m a sister to possibly the funniest person I know. You think I’m funny? You should meet my sister. She’s a hoot. I have a nephew and a niece because of her and they have her sense of humor. She’s thrilled. (And then, not.)

As I mentioned above, I’m a new mommy to twin girls. Lillian Marjorie and Marilyn Kallay. We are absolutely thrilled to be given this gift. It’s one hilarious parade of breastfeeding, bottle feeding, (not) sleeping, tummy times, cloth diapering and barf. I’ve never been more concerned about someone else’s poop in my life. Motherhood is awesome, it made me a little bipolar though. One minute I’m cooing and gushing and making up high pitched words, then the next minute I wonder what the fuck we were thinking. It’s normal. I checked.

My grandma is still alive and well at the age of 83. The woman is a saint and I look up to her as much as I can look up to a woman who comes up to my boobs. She kicked breast cancer’s butt at the age of 80, survived a grumpy husband, still works, still plays and makes her own bread from scratch every single week, arthritis and all. She loves God and has inspired my sister and I to love Him as well, through action and speech rather than cramming it down our throats. I’m thankful for that.

I love to:

eat drink coffee (especially anything but the green & black.)
read drink coffee eat (everything but refried beans and eggplant.)
read (even though my track record is lame.)
dance (not the butt ramming kind, even though I do love a good club, I intend on taking ballroom lessons.)
hike (leisurely through the dunes or a nice wooded area, I’m not a Mount Everest kind of gal.)
fish (for fish, not compliments, ok… maybe sometimes.)
and cook (or bake. And I’m not bad at it either! Thank you Art Institute of Seattle for my very expensive cooking lessons!)

I might as well let this cat out of the bag now, I sort of love pink. And by sort of, I mean really, really, a lot, very much so. I have an eagle eye for it. Will find it everywhere, and if I can’t, I will make some.

My OCD is focused mainly upon pushing the buttons on fast food to go cups (yes, even yours), fair warning I’d say. I also tend to be ADD. I jump around from hobby to hobby, right now we’re stuck on knitting because, hey, it’s almost Winter, and why not? We just moved into duplex that we painted every square inch of (and drywalled and replaced the shower surround and refinished the tub…..) and with me being giant pregnant at the time, we must have been crazy to be doing this with the babies’ arrival right around the corner. All the grunt work is done now, but I still need to hang some crap on the walls to make it feel “homey”. Thank God for Pinterest, because I don’t know what the hell I’m doing.

My adult (and other) beverage preferences are not that hard to remember. I don’t drink much anymore, if at all, but if I do, beyond great coffee:

NO VODKA! (This is the one subject Chelsea and I disagree on.)
Gin & Tonic (extra lime) <— Yep, I know. Gin is in some form, a Vodka. But it smells delightful.
Beer Faves: Blue Moon and all of its brothers, Samuel Adams, Goose Island (among others)
Coke, not Pepsi
Cherry Pomegranate Crystal Light
Tea, especially Earl Gray, Lady Gray, or some type of Orange-infused Herbal Tea
Water, if nothing else exists.

I kick ass at Cranium and I am never chosen last for a team. (Take THAT 5th Grade Dodge Ball!)

I make up words a lot, so you’ll have to keep up and please, have a sense of humor. What seems sad and depressing will be funny one day, so why not today? Sarcasm is my forte, so proceed with a light heart.

Pablo Neruda once said in a very depressing poem, “Laughter is the language of the soul.” I think he shared my sarcasm.

Thanks for stopping by the blog!